Total Drama Cruise - Aftermath I - Quinn you be trusted?
Oct 15, 2013 20:41:54 GMT
Post by Chris McLean on Oct 15, 2013 20:41:54 GMT
(Joke Episode. Things said here are not exactly what the characters think!)
-Takes place after Episode 3, before the Team Switch
>> HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE TDC AFTERMATH <<
"Here we'll talk to the first 5 boots of the show! First up is Melanie, who said she never wanted to appear on the show again! Of course, we have contracts preventing that! Melanie, appear on stage!"
Melanie appears on stage "I'm not going to be talking!"
"Of course, we know you're mad, after all, you were the first voted off. You're as bad as Ezekiel"
Melanie crosses her arms "I won't dignify that with an answer"
"So, Melanie, how do you feel, being the first boot? For real now"
Melanie stops and ponders "Hm... okay, I mean, it really sucks! I thought I was making friends there, and I don't really know why they chose me! I mean, Jeremy wasn't doing a lot either, and Quinn was nuts! I was even beginning to get closer to Kai, and they just voted me off like that. Really a bummer"
"You didn't really help your team, though"
"Well, duh, I mean, I was sort on the background, you know? Giving others the spotlight? They should be thanking me"
"Of... course! Anyway, let's play a little game I like to call Truth or Shark. I'll ask you a few questions, and if you lie..." The couch Melanie is own lowers to a pool with a shark on it. Melanie screams "Yes, that will happen" The couch raises, and Melanie is scared.
"I'll tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" She exclaims "Just don't lower me again!"
"We'll see about that... First question, who did you hate the most on your team?"
Melanie stops and says "Jeremy, he was too chill for me" There's a buzz, the couch lowers and the shark tries to take a bite, but the couch is raised soon after.
Chris laughs "Oh.. really?"
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I hated Quinn, okay? Can you blame me, girl is completely crazy!" Another buzz, and the couch lowers again. Melanie raises to the surface, trying to gasp for air
"Only one option left, but I think I'll let this confessional speak for you"
A confessional appears on the big screen, where Melanie speaks "So, I don't really like my team, but I still have to find someone to use. Quinn is crazy, but she'd probably be happy to help anyone who gives her a little bit of attention. Jeremy is a bit too chill, but I like him a bit. Crindoela, though, probably will try to clash with me or something, god I hate her guts the most"
Chris grins "Never seen before clip, guys"
Melanie rages "That's an outrage! Clever editing! I never meant to use anyone on the show!" The couch lowers again, and the shark jumps out of the water and back in. "Fine, okay, I was going to be a bit of a villain, but the plan backfired, ok? I won't lie anymore, I swear!"
Chris laughs "Next question, who do you think is the biggest threat?"
Melanie ponders... "I'm not really sure. Kelsey can be a power player from time to time, but I'd say either Knox, if he could get his butt and work, or Bernie." The couch begins to lower "Fine! Paola! You do not want to get on that girl bad's side!"
"Thank you very much" Chris laughs "Now, let's see some fanmail!" An intern appears handing a bag of letters to Chris "You were an unexpected boot, so you have a bit of fanmail here"
"Of course I do" Melanie smirks
"First letter is from TDFan111."
"Okay, I did NOT want you to be voted off, and I'm dead serious. I mean, really, that's bogus! You were such a great character and person!"
Melanie smiles "Oh... thanks TDFan!"
Chris stops and smirks "I didn't finish the letter"
And really, if I was on the show, I'd never let you go! I'd hold you and tell you sweet things and then we'd make love every day on the cruise!
Chris laughs "Haha, bet you didn't see that coming!"
Melanie looks weirded out "Stop reading, stop reading!"
Chris complies and digs another letter from the bag "Next is EvilPplSuckXX. Why do people sign their letters like this is a question."
Melanie sighs "I have a feeling this won't be a good letter"
Melany ure a bich and i h8 u. how could u think of using ppl and not try 2do the chlleng. u deserve first eliminated die in a fire xoxo
Chris chuckles "Short and sweet, just the way I like it!"
Melanie holds tight on the couch "First, that's not proper spelling, second, can I get witness protection?"
Chris shushes her "Enough of Melanie, time for loser number 2, Eve"
Eve enters the stage, receiving a bit of applause "I was eliminated unfairly!" She rages
Chris raises his contract "Actually, no. I'd say you were, but according to the contract, if someone does not show up to any of the castmate meetings, they're out of the competition. You completely vanished, even more than Krystin or Jeremy"
"Still!"
"Let's cut the chase short and jump to the questions. You weren't voted out, so do you think you would last long in the competition if you weren't eliminated?"
"Of course, I had Victor wrapped around my finger. Kai would go, then me and Victor would ally and take Bernadette out if we lost again."
"So, if you weren't stupid and showed up to the game, you'd get far?"
"I... suppose"
"Of course. Another question, were you really playing Victor the whole time?"
"Sure" The couch lowers and she faces the shark "WHAT IS THIS!"
Melanie yelps "And why I'm still on this couch!"
Chris laughs "Lie, and face the consequences"
Eve sighs and says "Okay, you know, it's kinda nice to have someone who shares the same tastes with you, and will do what you tell him, but really, boy is like a puppy that I feel bad kicking around. He celebrates and wonders what I'm thinking of, which is sweet, but I wasn't going to date him or anything"
Chris expects the couch to lower, but nothing happens "Oh, bummer. Anyone you want to win?"
Eve crosses her arms "Victor, only because he was in my team. Bernadette? No way"
Chris gets three letters "Time for some fanmail! Already got the best one sorted out for you"
"First letter is from Ashley Katson! Finally someone with an actual name."
Eve, you and Victor would be so cute together, just like Naruto and Hinata or other anime couples you prefer, if you don't like Naruto! But really, you should ask him out after the show! I bet a million fangirls out there would love it! Kisses, Ashley!"
Eve scoffs "Like I'd ever date him. Next letter, please"
"This one is from George Ran Sid. Not to be confused with rancid."
Dude... you're like... the dream of every man.... man... a girl who likes animes... who's an otaku... who is beautiful? That's like... the perfect girl... man.... I hope one day we can meet and hang out... because you're like... the perfect girl for me, dude... I also like anime....so if Victor doesn't work out... get in touch. Peace out"
Chris laughs "And it keeps getting better and better"
Eve scoffs, once again "I get that all the time, and dude, way too many ellipses.. man" She says sarcastically, then complains "Also, nothing going on with Victor!" She yells, blushing a little
"Of course. The last letter is the usual death threats, but you seems to be unphazed, so I'll just burn this" He burns the letter and throws it at Eve, who ducks "What the hell!"
"There! At least the last letter got a reaction out of you. And with that, let's meet our next loser! Kai, come here"
Kai goes, hands on his pockets, and sits on his couch
Chris asks him "So, Kai, what's the matter? Managed to get the money troubles back on track?"
Kai says, sighing "Sort of, still going through a rough patch"
"Yeah, wouldn't the million solve everything?"
"Of course, but it would be far away, and I would rather not take my chances."
"Sure..." Chris pauses "Though I don't think you really had to quit"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I mean, you would be voted off anyway"
"Oh, you mean Victor and Bernadette?"
"Yeah, they wouldn't vote each other off"
"Sure, I mean, but something you're not showing is that they did have some conflicts! Bernadette didn't like when he kept talking about Eve, felt like a third wheel or something. But of course, I wouldn't like it either"
"You're saying there was a chance to turn the tables?"
"Sure, if I played my cards right, brah"
"Too bad you didn't, 'brah'. Anyway, anyone you'd want to win?"
"If she was still in the game, I'd say Melanie. I mean, I thought she was a cool chick, of course, but she wanted to use people and that's not really cool, broface"
Melanie gasps
"Yeah, I was gonna see if she wanted to hang out, or something, but I guess not"
The crowd gasps
"I want to hang out!" Melanie cries out
"Sorry, 'brah', but I don't hang out with evil chicks." He says, coldly
"I'm not evil, I was just trying to play the game!"
"What, didn't think of doing that by doing the challenges, interacting? I know I'm not in the best position to criticize, but still"
Melanie sighs, Chris chimes in "Shocking revelations, people! Anyway, Kai, who do you really want to win now?"
"My favourite picks are pretty much already gone, except for Bernadette" Kai tells the host
"Of course. Now, I'm sad to say, you did bad in quitting"
"What, I wanted to do the honorable thing, brah"
"Of course, you just wanted to avoid elimination, but by quitting, you lost the 25 hundred consolation prize"
"...What?"
"You heard me, dude, you lost 25 hundred. Not much, but it would be helpful, at least"
"You're kidding me, right?"
"I never kid, except when I do, but right now, I'm not kidding"
"Oh, come on, brah"
"Stop with the brah, brah, I'm not your brah, brah! Anyway, want to see your fanmail?"
"Sure..." Kai says, sighing
Chris brings out another huge bag from backstage "Like Melanie and Eve, you got some fans, for odd reasons. I'll pick the letters randomly, and first one is from Jeff Joster"
Kai, man, what's up, bro! I'm sad you had to quit the show, 'cuz you had so much potential, and you could had really become something, you know? If you could ally with Bernadette you'd be basically safe for the rest of the game, and you could bring the million home! Too bad you quit, but I understand you. See ya when you get back home, homie"
"Look, it's Jeff! What's up Jeff? I'll be back soon, right after this aftermath show!"
"Actually, you're contractually obliged to appear on the next aftermaths as well"
"Oh, come on, dude, haven't I suffered enough?"
"Not really, haha. Anyway, time for your next letter! Okay, this is just a 'Love Me, Kai!'! You got yourself some girl fans, dude, despite your short stay, you did get fairly popular among the viewers"
"Nice to know, really!"
"Okay, this next letter is from BaconRules" Chris says "I think you can already expect what it's going to be about"
Kai, I liked you, but then you said you were a vegetarian, and I totally hate you now. You eat the poop that my food makes! You're nothing but a bad hunter! You're a pussy sissy furry tree hugger, and you're also nuts because I don't know how anyone can skip the delicious thing that is bacon. In other words, die, you freak."
"So many stereotypes in a small letter! I'm impressed!" Kai points out "But yeah, when you're a vegetarian, you get that a lot. There's tons of stuff you can still eat, though, most being rockin' delicious, so I don't really care"
"Good for you, man" Chris says "There's a letter about you and Melanie together, but I think I'll skip this one. And... hey, why not, I'll be a good guy this time" He picks a blue envelope
Kai, confused, asks "Who's it from?"
"We'll see!" Chris says, and begins reading
Kai, little Kai, I can't tell you how proud of you I am. You've grown so much, and to quit a chance on a million dollars just to help your family. You have a heart of gold, son, and I look forward for when you get back home! I already set up your room with your toys the way you like it, and I made all your favourite dishes! You don't know how much I love you, and despite being in money issues, don't strain yourself, and have fun. I'm sure we can get out of this together.
Love, Ma"
Kai tries hard no to cry "Oh, man, thanks, thanks a lot"
Chris smiles "No problem, thought the world would want to know about your toys, little Kai"
He continues "Anyway, time for our next contestant! Loser number 4, say hello to Quinn."
Quinn doesn't appear on stage through the entrance, and instead lands on Chris from above, taking pictures on the way "Bwahahaha, totally going on my tumblr, say cheese!"
Chris gets up, complaining "Anyway, Quinn, let's see here! Your journey through the show has been interesting, to say the least. You tried to drug Ace, went nuts on the Canada challenge, and then quit, jumping off the boat
"Oh, I do that all the time, plus, I got 100 likes for that picture on Instagram. Haha, so cool."
"Okay, anyway, I'd like to ask, who do you want to win?"
"Crimpy, my BFFF or Paola, my BFFF second in command! One of my BFFFS totally should win, because they're like totally incredible! Too bad we didn't got a picture all three of us, but I made models of them through Styrofoam, and they look just like the real thing!"
"O...okay. What about the Ace drug incident?"
"Ace is such a mood ruiner! I was just wanting to knock him out unconscious and then bang him against his will, is that really a problem?"
The crowd gaps, and Kai comments "In some places, that's called R***"
"It's not R*** if he doesn't say no" She pouts "Anyway, it's not like I was going to do that directly, of course. I'd let him wake up first and know what was going on, and there was no way he'd be saying no. But of course he had to be smart and realize what I was doing"
"He did want to talk to you a lot later, though. Maybe he was going to take the offer?" Chris points out
"He did? Oh, bummer! I have to contact him after the show, then, if he doesn't fall prey to my BFFF second, though if he did that'd be really really fine and maybe we'd have a three way! I'd get the whole thing ready to put on facebook later, then"
"Ace's a lucky guy... or not" Kai says.
"Let's take a confessional from Ace, here"
Chris points to the big screen, where Ace is talking "Though I may talk to her about that 'motive' of her, which, between us, it's quite clear she wanted to use me sexually" He folds his arms "I like to be conscious while I do that kind of stuff, you know?"
"Plus, I'm a Jack of All Trades, and you know, I mean All" He wiggles his eyebrows before falling backwards laughing. The screen fades, and Chris grins
"Guess you'd have a shot at it after all"
"Oh god, I need to get back on the show. No, actually, I need to tweet this right now!" Quinn squees
"Nope, dem's the breaks, you quit, you can't go back, that's how things work around here"
Eve chimes in "What about Duncan in WT"
"Totally different matter, he brought ratings" Chris shrugs "Though Ace didn't really mind when you left, of course" He laughs "Who would mind, though"
"Hey, my fans will send revolted hatemail to your house, Chris!" Quinn pouts
"Moving on, I think that's going to be all from Quinn."
"Hey, and my fan-mail?!" Quinn stands up, complaining
"Well, since most were rigged with bombs, we really didn't want to take the chance of bringing any onstage. Guess you made tons of enemies, and your words of praise are most likely to be on your tumblr or facebook anyway"
Quinn looks at her cellphone "Oh, I guess you're right!" She begins scrolling through comments "Oh.... thanks a lot! That's so sweet! YES, FEED ME ATTENTION!" She laughs
Chris, weired out, continues "Our last guest for the night is the dude from Chilladelphia, Jeremy"
Jeremy lazily walks on stage, Chris greets him "You're the fifth gone, and with your leave, Crindoela is alone on Team Africa."
"Yeah, but I think she can pull through" He sits on the couch, and everyone else leaps out of it to safety. Jeremy looks around, confused.
"Now, Jeremy, we'll play a game called Truth or Shark... are you mad at Crindoela for voting you out?"
"No" Jeremy says, bluntly. Chris awaits the couch to lower, but nothing happens. "Hm... okay, but she did cost you a million dollars"
"I don't blame her. Her aura was strained from the effort, and I admit I wasn't working at all on the team. Smart move on her part, actually, she's probably better without me"
"Cool man, humble, that's nice" Chris says "Nice and cheesy, though. Come on, swear at her"
"No can do, I'm fine here. Too bad I couldn't stay longer, but I guess I couldn't chill my way through the game or anything. Poor Ace, though, his aura is the weirdest one I've ever seen."
"What do you mean?"
"It's like, I can't read it at all! He seems to have a bunch of different ideas talking at once, probably depicted as mythical characters, and you can never know what he's about. I guess he's been through some tough stuff"
"Maybe he's adopted" Kai muses
"Or he's actually in search for revenge!" Quinn yells
"Yeah, I don't think that's it, but there's certainly something odd about him, in that way. Hope he can get through it"
"Enough about Ace! Who do you want to win, then?"
"It may seem strange, but Crindoela still. She and I are friends, despite everything"
"Okay! Now, we could read your fanmail, but all your letters are pretty boring ones, seeing as you didn't do much. There is a particularly letter from a old TD Contestant, though."
Hello, Jeremy! While I'd appreciate if you put more effort into challenges, I like you. And I'll give you some tips. Knox is a dark green! Stop with your bogus aura reading and stop trying to wing the game!
Signed, TotallyTheTrueDawn
"Hm... okay, I guess. It's not bogus, though, I really like reading about that and aura stuff in general. Sorry if you think that way"
"Okay, after that message from a real TD contestant, totally not a fake one, we'll be stopping here. That's all for tonight, but meet us next time in TDC, where someone else is going home, and next time on the aftermath, when 5 more competitors join the peanut gallery. I'll see you there"
-Takes place after Episode 3, before the Team Switch
>> HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE TDC AFTERMATH <<
"Here we'll talk to the first 5 boots of the show! First up is Melanie, who said she never wanted to appear on the show again! Of course, we have contracts preventing that! Melanie, appear on stage!"
Melanie appears on stage "I'm not going to be talking!"
"Of course, we know you're mad, after all, you were the first voted off. You're as bad as Ezekiel"
Melanie crosses her arms "I won't dignify that with an answer"
"So, Melanie, how do you feel, being the first boot? For real now"
Melanie stops and ponders "Hm... okay, I mean, it really sucks! I thought I was making friends there, and I don't really know why they chose me! I mean, Jeremy wasn't doing a lot either, and Quinn was nuts! I was even beginning to get closer to Kai, and they just voted me off like that. Really a bummer"
"You didn't really help your team, though"
"Well, duh, I mean, I was sort on the background, you know? Giving others the spotlight? They should be thanking me"
"Of... course! Anyway, let's play a little game I like to call Truth or Shark. I'll ask you a few questions, and if you lie..." The couch Melanie is own lowers to a pool with a shark on it. Melanie screams "Yes, that will happen" The couch raises, and Melanie is scared.
"I'll tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth" She exclaims "Just don't lower me again!"
"We'll see about that... First question, who did you hate the most on your team?"
Melanie stops and says "Jeremy, he was too chill for me" There's a buzz, the couch lowers and the shark tries to take a bite, but the couch is raised soon after.
Chris laughs "Oh.. really?"
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, I hated Quinn, okay? Can you blame me, girl is completely crazy!" Another buzz, and the couch lowers again. Melanie raises to the surface, trying to gasp for air
"Only one option left, but I think I'll let this confessional speak for you"
A confessional appears on the big screen, where Melanie speaks "So, I don't really like my team, but I still have to find someone to use. Quinn is crazy, but she'd probably be happy to help anyone who gives her a little bit of attention. Jeremy is a bit too chill, but I like him a bit. Crindoela, though, probably will try to clash with me or something, god I hate her guts the most"
Chris grins "Never seen before clip, guys"
Melanie rages "That's an outrage! Clever editing! I never meant to use anyone on the show!" The couch lowers again, and the shark jumps out of the water and back in. "Fine, okay, I was going to be a bit of a villain, but the plan backfired, ok? I won't lie anymore, I swear!"
Chris laughs "Next question, who do you think is the biggest threat?"
Melanie ponders... "I'm not really sure. Kelsey can be a power player from time to time, but I'd say either Knox, if he could get his butt and work, or Bernie." The couch begins to lower "Fine! Paola! You do not want to get on that girl bad's side!"
"Thank you very much" Chris laughs "Now, let's see some fanmail!" An intern appears handing a bag of letters to Chris "You were an unexpected boot, so you have a bit of fanmail here"
"Of course I do" Melanie smirks
"First letter is from TDFan111."
"Okay, I did NOT want you to be voted off, and I'm dead serious. I mean, really, that's bogus! You were such a great character and person!"
Melanie smiles "Oh... thanks TDFan!"
Chris stops and smirks "I didn't finish the letter"
And really, if I was on the show, I'd never let you go! I'd hold you and tell you sweet things and then we'd make love every day on the cruise!
Chris laughs "Haha, bet you didn't see that coming!"
Melanie looks weirded out "Stop reading, stop reading!"
Chris complies and digs another letter from the bag "Next is EvilPplSuckXX. Why do people sign their letters like this is a question."
Melanie sighs "I have a feeling this won't be a good letter"
Melany ure a bich and i h8 u. how could u think of using ppl and not try 2do the chlleng. u deserve first eliminated die in a fire xoxo
Chris chuckles "Short and sweet, just the way I like it!"
Melanie holds tight on the couch "First, that's not proper spelling, second, can I get witness protection?"
Chris shushes her "Enough of Melanie, time for loser number 2, Eve"
Eve enters the stage, receiving a bit of applause "I was eliminated unfairly!" She rages
Chris raises his contract "Actually, no. I'd say you were, but according to the contract, if someone does not show up to any of the castmate meetings, they're out of the competition. You completely vanished, even more than Krystin or Jeremy"
"Still!"
"Let's cut the chase short and jump to the questions. You weren't voted out, so do you think you would last long in the competition if you weren't eliminated?"
"Of course, I had Victor wrapped around my finger. Kai would go, then me and Victor would ally and take Bernadette out if we lost again."
"So, if you weren't stupid and showed up to the game, you'd get far?"
"I... suppose"
"Of course. Another question, were you really playing Victor the whole time?"
"Sure" The couch lowers and she faces the shark "WHAT IS THIS!"
Melanie yelps "And why I'm still on this couch!"
Chris laughs "Lie, and face the consequences"
Eve sighs and says "Okay, you know, it's kinda nice to have someone who shares the same tastes with you, and will do what you tell him, but really, boy is like a puppy that I feel bad kicking around. He celebrates and wonders what I'm thinking of, which is sweet, but I wasn't going to date him or anything"
Chris expects the couch to lower, but nothing happens "Oh, bummer. Anyone you want to win?"
Eve crosses her arms "Victor, only because he was in my team. Bernadette? No way"
Chris gets three letters "Time for some fanmail! Already got the best one sorted out for you"
"First letter is from Ashley Katson! Finally someone with an actual name."
Eve, you and Victor would be so cute together, just like Naruto and Hinata or other anime couples you prefer, if you don't like Naruto! But really, you should ask him out after the show! I bet a million fangirls out there would love it! Kisses, Ashley!"
Eve scoffs "Like I'd ever date him. Next letter, please"
"This one is from George Ran Sid. Not to be confused with rancid."
Dude... you're like... the dream of every man.... man... a girl who likes animes... who's an otaku... who is beautiful? That's like... the perfect girl... man.... I hope one day we can meet and hang out... because you're like... the perfect girl for me, dude... I also like anime....so if Victor doesn't work out... get in touch. Peace out"
Chris laughs "And it keeps getting better and better"
Eve scoffs, once again "I get that all the time, and dude, way too many ellipses.. man" She says sarcastically, then complains "Also, nothing going on with Victor!" She yells, blushing a little
"Of course. The last letter is the usual death threats, but you seems to be unphazed, so I'll just burn this" He burns the letter and throws it at Eve, who ducks "What the hell!"
"There! At least the last letter got a reaction out of you. And with that, let's meet our next loser! Kai, come here"
Kai goes, hands on his pockets, and sits on his couch
Chris asks him "So, Kai, what's the matter? Managed to get the money troubles back on track?"
Kai says, sighing "Sort of, still going through a rough patch"
"Yeah, wouldn't the million solve everything?"
"Of course, but it would be far away, and I would rather not take my chances."
"Sure..." Chris pauses "Though I don't think you really had to quit"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I mean, you would be voted off anyway"
"Oh, you mean Victor and Bernadette?"
"Yeah, they wouldn't vote each other off"
"Sure, I mean, but something you're not showing is that they did have some conflicts! Bernadette didn't like when he kept talking about Eve, felt like a third wheel or something. But of course, I wouldn't like it either"
"You're saying there was a chance to turn the tables?"
"Sure, if I played my cards right, brah"
"Too bad you didn't, 'brah'. Anyway, anyone you'd want to win?"
"If she was still in the game, I'd say Melanie. I mean, I thought she was a cool chick, of course, but she wanted to use people and that's not really cool, broface"
Melanie gasps
"Yeah, I was gonna see if she wanted to hang out, or something, but I guess not"
The crowd gasps
"I want to hang out!" Melanie cries out
"Sorry, 'brah', but I don't hang out with evil chicks." He says, coldly
"I'm not evil, I was just trying to play the game!"
"What, didn't think of doing that by doing the challenges, interacting? I know I'm not in the best position to criticize, but still"
Melanie sighs, Chris chimes in "Shocking revelations, people! Anyway, Kai, who do you really want to win now?"
"My favourite picks are pretty much already gone, except for Bernadette" Kai tells the host
"Of course. Now, I'm sad to say, you did bad in quitting"
"What, I wanted to do the honorable thing, brah"
"Of course, you just wanted to avoid elimination, but by quitting, you lost the 25 hundred consolation prize"
"...What?"
"You heard me, dude, you lost 25 hundred. Not much, but it would be helpful, at least"
"You're kidding me, right?"
"I never kid, except when I do, but right now, I'm not kidding"
"Oh, come on, brah"
"Stop with the brah, brah, I'm not your brah, brah! Anyway, want to see your fanmail?"
"Sure..." Kai says, sighing
Chris brings out another huge bag from backstage "Like Melanie and Eve, you got some fans, for odd reasons. I'll pick the letters randomly, and first one is from Jeff Joster"
Kai, man, what's up, bro! I'm sad you had to quit the show, 'cuz you had so much potential, and you could had really become something, you know? If you could ally with Bernadette you'd be basically safe for the rest of the game, and you could bring the million home! Too bad you quit, but I understand you. See ya when you get back home, homie"
"Look, it's Jeff! What's up Jeff? I'll be back soon, right after this aftermath show!"
"Actually, you're contractually obliged to appear on the next aftermaths as well"
"Oh, come on, dude, haven't I suffered enough?"
"Not really, haha. Anyway, time for your next letter! Okay, this is just a 'Love Me, Kai!'! You got yourself some girl fans, dude, despite your short stay, you did get fairly popular among the viewers"
"Nice to know, really!"
"Okay, this next letter is from BaconRules" Chris says "I think you can already expect what it's going to be about"
Kai, I liked you, but then you said you were a vegetarian, and I totally hate you now. You eat the poop that my food makes! You're nothing but a bad hunter! You're a pussy sissy furry tree hugger, and you're also nuts because I don't know how anyone can skip the delicious thing that is bacon. In other words, die, you freak."
"So many stereotypes in a small letter! I'm impressed!" Kai points out "But yeah, when you're a vegetarian, you get that a lot. There's tons of stuff you can still eat, though, most being rockin' delicious, so I don't really care"
"Good for you, man" Chris says "There's a letter about you and Melanie together, but I think I'll skip this one. And... hey, why not, I'll be a good guy this time" He picks a blue envelope
Kai, confused, asks "Who's it from?"
"We'll see!" Chris says, and begins reading
Kai, little Kai, I can't tell you how proud of you I am. You've grown so much, and to quit a chance on a million dollars just to help your family. You have a heart of gold, son, and I look forward for when you get back home! I already set up your room with your toys the way you like it, and I made all your favourite dishes! You don't know how much I love you, and despite being in money issues, don't strain yourself, and have fun. I'm sure we can get out of this together.
Love, Ma"
Kai tries hard no to cry "Oh, man, thanks, thanks a lot"
Chris smiles "No problem, thought the world would want to know about your toys, little Kai"
He continues "Anyway, time for our next contestant! Loser number 4, say hello to Quinn."
Quinn doesn't appear on stage through the entrance, and instead lands on Chris from above, taking pictures on the way "Bwahahaha, totally going on my tumblr, say cheese!"
Chris gets up, complaining "Anyway, Quinn, let's see here! Your journey through the show has been interesting, to say the least. You tried to drug Ace, went nuts on the Canada challenge, and then quit, jumping off the boat
"Oh, I do that all the time, plus, I got 100 likes for that picture on Instagram. Haha, so cool."
"Okay, anyway, I'd like to ask, who do you want to win?"
"Crimpy, my BFFF or Paola, my BFFF second in command! One of my BFFFS totally should win, because they're like totally incredible! Too bad we didn't got a picture all three of us, but I made models of them through Styrofoam, and they look just like the real thing!"
"O...okay. What about the Ace drug incident?"
"Ace is such a mood ruiner! I was just wanting to knock him out unconscious and then bang him against his will, is that really a problem?"
The crowd gaps, and Kai comments "In some places, that's called R***"
"It's not R*** if he doesn't say no" She pouts "Anyway, it's not like I was going to do that directly, of course. I'd let him wake up first and know what was going on, and there was no way he'd be saying no. But of course he had to be smart and realize what I was doing"
"He did want to talk to you a lot later, though. Maybe he was going to take the offer?" Chris points out
"He did? Oh, bummer! I have to contact him after the show, then, if he doesn't fall prey to my BFFF second, though if he did that'd be really really fine and maybe we'd have a three way! I'd get the whole thing ready to put on facebook later, then"
"Ace's a lucky guy... or not" Kai says.
"Let's take a confessional from Ace, here"
Chris points to the big screen, where Ace is talking "Though I may talk to her about that 'motive' of her, which, between us, it's quite clear she wanted to use me sexually" He folds his arms "I like to be conscious while I do that kind of stuff, you know?"
"Plus, I'm a Jack of All Trades, and you know, I mean All" He wiggles his eyebrows before falling backwards laughing. The screen fades, and Chris grins
"Guess you'd have a shot at it after all"
"Oh god, I need to get back on the show. No, actually, I need to tweet this right now!" Quinn squees
"Nope, dem's the breaks, you quit, you can't go back, that's how things work around here"
Eve chimes in "What about Duncan in WT"
"Totally different matter, he brought ratings" Chris shrugs "Though Ace didn't really mind when you left, of course" He laughs "Who would mind, though"
"Hey, my fans will send revolted hatemail to your house, Chris!" Quinn pouts
"Moving on, I think that's going to be all from Quinn."
"Hey, and my fan-mail?!" Quinn stands up, complaining
"Well, since most were rigged with bombs, we really didn't want to take the chance of bringing any onstage. Guess you made tons of enemies, and your words of praise are most likely to be on your tumblr or facebook anyway"
Quinn looks at her cellphone "Oh, I guess you're right!" She begins scrolling through comments "Oh.... thanks a lot! That's so sweet! YES, FEED ME ATTENTION!" She laughs
Chris, weired out, continues "Our last guest for the night is the dude from Chilladelphia, Jeremy"
Jeremy lazily walks on stage, Chris greets him "You're the fifth gone, and with your leave, Crindoela is alone on Team Africa."
"Yeah, but I think she can pull through" He sits on the couch, and everyone else leaps out of it to safety. Jeremy looks around, confused.
"Now, Jeremy, we'll play a game called Truth or Shark... are you mad at Crindoela for voting you out?"
"No" Jeremy says, bluntly. Chris awaits the couch to lower, but nothing happens. "Hm... okay, but she did cost you a million dollars"
"I don't blame her. Her aura was strained from the effort, and I admit I wasn't working at all on the team. Smart move on her part, actually, she's probably better without me"
"Cool man, humble, that's nice" Chris says "Nice and cheesy, though. Come on, swear at her"
"No can do, I'm fine here. Too bad I couldn't stay longer, but I guess I couldn't chill my way through the game or anything. Poor Ace, though, his aura is the weirdest one I've ever seen."
"What do you mean?"
"It's like, I can't read it at all! He seems to have a bunch of different ideas talking at once, probably depicted as mythical characters, and you can never know what he's about. I guess he's been through some tough stuff"
"Maybe he's adopted" Kai muses
"Or he's actually in search for revenge!" Quinn yells
"Yeah, I don't think that's it, but there's certainly something odd about him, in that way. Hope he can get through it"
"Enough about Ace! Who do you want to win, then?"
"It may seem strange, but Crindoela still. She and I are friends, despite everything"
"Okay! Now, we could read your fanmail, but all your letters are pretty boring ones, seeing as you didn't do much. There is a particularly letter from a old TD Contestant, though."
Hello, Jeremy! While I'd appreciate if you put more effort into challenges, I like you. And I'll give you some tips. Knox is a dark green! Stop with your bogus aura reading and stop trying to wing the game!
Signed, TotallyTheTrueDawn
"Hm... okay, I guess. It's not bogus, though, I really like reading about that and aura stuff in general. Sorry if you think that way"
"Okay, after that message from a real TD contestant, totally not a fake one, we'll be stopping here. That's all for tonight, but meet us next time in TDC, where someone else is going home, and next time on the aftermath, when 5 more competitors join the peanut gallery. I'll see you there"